why it's okay to only have a few friends

(<4 min read)

Nowadays, there is way too much emphasis on numbers. How much money does that guy have? How many cars does that person have? How many ‘likes’? How many ‘followers’? We try to quantify everything. The more we have of something, (apparently) the more successful we are. I could easily say “quality over quantity” and end this topic right here. But let’s go one step further.

Popularity is overrated. I would choose two really good friends over 10-20 friends any day. It’s okay to only have a few friends. Actually, it’s better than okay – it’s really good. People with lots of friends aren’t going to have the same experiences as people with few friends. People with few friends are going to have more meaningful moments. Yeah, doing things with a big group of people might be pretty fun sometimes but realistically, how connected will you be to each and every one of those people? If you do stuff with two or three people, you’re able to be more connected with them and develop a deeper bond.

If you have a bunch of people hitting you up or blowing up your phone on a daily basis, that’s just exhausting, man. To have to reply and keep up-to-date with all of those people and things going on in their lives and making an effort to be there for all of those people can take a pretty big toll on a person’s mental health. We’re not exactly built for that. It’s better to have a few close friends who you can share your best moments with. These are people who would be there for you in your worst times, too.

Truthfully, if you have a lot of friends, how many of them are actually going to stick around? It might not be either yours or their fault, that’s just life. Things happen, people change, and we end up losing people who we thought we would be friends with for a long time. It’s tough to give your energy to maintaining all your friendships if you have a lot of friends, but that becomes easier when you only have a few friends to focus your energy and efforts on.

My nana ji (grandpa) has had the same two best friends from his childhood. These are people who are down for him for life. After all these years, even after immigrating from Punjab to Canada, they still link up and kick it. This is what you call pakki yaari.

I think I would want friendships like that; the ones that last a lifetime. What about you?

Here’s another – maybe not so obvious – thing: you’ll actually be more productive with your time and with your life. Too many friends equals too many people always wanting to do things. When do you actually get a chance to finish other things, like school assignments or whatever? Okay, maybe you do have enough time to finish assignments (probably last minute tho 👀) but when do you ever get a chance to actually do more with your life? Like to actually be one step ahead and not feel like you’re always trying to keep up? Too many friends can have that effect on you. They can be big productivity-killers.

A few friends are good for you. You can get a lot more done, do so much more, and when you feel like you need a break, you can just hit ‘em up and chill for a bit. With too many friends, it can be hard to take time out for yourself because if you do then you might miss out on stuff with the group. With lots of friends, you kind of feel like you need to constantly stay updated with the entire group, otherwise you’re going to be/feel left out. And with too many friends, you are constantly looking for too much approval. You shouldn’t be looking for anybody’s approval. Your few close friends are gonna accept you anyway.

I never really had like too many friends but here’s something I learned from having many friends versus only a few. With too many friends, it’s hard for you to become self-reliant.

Hey Siri, define self-reliant.

self-re·li·ant

adjective

  1. reliant on one's own powers and resources rather than those of others.

See, with too many friends, you’re always relying on them to get you through life cause you think it makes things easier. Can’t figure out how to do a question on an assignment? Maybe one of your many friends can just give you the answer. Never learned how to do something? Well maybe one of your many friends can come over and just do it for you (sarcasm).

You need to learn to do things on your own and you need to learn to trust yourself cause at the end of the day, regardless of whether you have a few close friends to help you out or not, the one person who’s always gonna be there for you and get you through life is you 💯

Prabh DhillonComment