my thoughts on cutting people off
(5 min read)
Cutting people off isn’t always easy, man. It can be hard sometimes. Especially if you’ve known the person for a while and had a good thing going. At a certain point, sometimes you have to let people go. I’ll talk about a few things like “ghosting,” when to know you should cut someone off, and how you should cut someone off. Let’s get into it.
I think any good and healthy relationship (friend, romantic partner, etc.) is based off of mutual respect and appreciation. Respect is an important one. If you’ve ever felt used, manipulated, or that you’re just not being valued, then this person probably doesn’t respect you very much. If the relationship often feels one-sided and like you’re constantly making more of an effort than they are, then I think you need to take a step back and think about things. Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t base relationships off of “give and takes” or how much you guys are doing for each other. i don’t think that’s a very good mindset to have. It’s about understanding that any relationship takes effort from both people to make it work. If you’re consistently seeing lack of effort, then maybe you’re not being valued.
Here’s another thing: is this person bettering your mental health or making it worse? If you’ve noticed that you feel like sh-t or that your personality becomes negative when you’re around this person, then it’s definitely time for you to kick. Maybe you’re always there for the person when they need you but they’re rarely ever there when you need their support. That’s not good for your mental health either. You need your people to be there for you and to have your back and hold you down through the tough times, as well as the good times.
You know, it might not even be any of these things. It might just be that this person is holding you back from growing as a person. Does the person even take interest in the things you like to do or that you’re interested in? Or are you guys always doing the things that that person wants to do and talking about the things they like? That’s not good either, man. How will you grow if you don’t get a chance to build experience and knowledge in the things you like? Like maybe you wanna volunteer or go to a seminar or something but that person isn’t down to do that with you so you don’t do it either. You just missed out on some good opportunities then. Yeah, you could go by yourself but sometimes going with a buddy makes experiencing new things more comfortable. Just be aware and notice if they’re always making excuses or not wanting to do things with you.
You’re a valuable person and you have something very unique about you. Don’t let it be taken for granted. If you need to cut someone off, then I think you should do it. I honestly don’t even think most people needed those paragraphs up there but it’s just for those who wanted a better understanding or for those who wanted to know if they were making the right choice. Don’t worry, when it’s time to cut someone off, you’ll just know. Trust yourself because your mind is very good at telling you these type of things.
Sometimes people are hesitant on cutting people off because they are worried about hurting them or because they are holding onto memories. Don’t worry about hurting them because listen, man, that’s just a part of life. People get hurt. Your intention is not to hurt them it’s just to leave the relationship and if they end up getting hurt in the process, then okay, whatever, you can’t control that. Just remember the reason why you are cutting someone off is because you are caring for yourself. Don’t worry about the memories, either. You will achieve so much more in life and you will make newer and better memories, with better people. I’m speaking from experience. I have had to make the tough choice of cutting people off multiple times but I am better off because of it. I have achieved so much that I never would have if they had stuck around.
Aight, let’s talk about “ghosting” real quick. Ghosting is just when a person cuts you off (or you cut them off) without any communication. Like you just stop hearing from them or whatever. It’s pretty cold and it’s kinda childish too. I don’t think ghosting is a good way to end things. It’s unhealthy. It’s easy to just stop replying and maybe even just block the person but it’s probably not the best way to approach things.
I’m a strong believer in finding a chance to grow in every situation or wherever possible. In this case, you can actually grow a lot if you just talk to the person and let them know that things are over between you guys. You can do it over text if you don’t wanna see the person or you can take the harder route and do it face-to-face. Either way, you will grow so much from doing this. You’re going to learn how to effectively communicate with people, you’re going to learn how to handle situations, and you’re going to learn how to end things properly, with a clear conscience. If you do it this way, it’ll also be so much easier for you both to move on, which is really important, it’s kind of a closure thing. Doing it this way is going to prepare you for life. Who knows, you might need to use this skill in the future to end business partnerships or to move on from a toxic workplace 🤷♂️.
You should definitely try to make an effort to explain the things that are making you want to “cancel” this person when you’re talking to them. If they try to fix their ways, then cool, you can give them another chance if you want. But if you’ve made up your mind and you think enough is enough, then just end it. In the end, it’s your choice. Another interesting side of it is if you’re the one getting cut off. Just think about how you would want to be treated and how you might react.
If anybody asks why you and whoever are not friends anymore, just remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation (except maybe the person you cut off). You can just keep it simple like, “we just grew apart,” “we didn’t really see eye-to-eye anymore,” etc. If they press you for more details and you really don’t wanna talk about it, just be straight up and mature and just say that you don’t really wanna share those details cause it would be unfair to the other person. Your guys’ business is your guys’ business. Nobody else’s. Plus, sharing that kinda stuff just creates drama.
If you’re worried you might see the person you cut off in public or at parties or wherever, if you did it the right way then you will have nothing to worry about (even if you hate the person). If you see them, again just be mature and say ‘Hi’ and move on. If I see someone who I cut off in public, I just say ‘hey,’ smile, and might make some light conversation but that’s about it.
Keep it movin’. You got things to do in life, milestones to reach, and records to break. There’s no time for people who slow you down or weigh you down. Cut the ties ✂️💯